How do I get our baby back in his cot?
louise asked:
Our baby is 1 next week. He has always been a good sleper and slept right through the night until he was 8 months old. This was when he started nursery and became a bit clingy. When he woke in the night he would want us. He now wakes every night and comes in our bed. He goes straight back to sleep. If we move him to his cot he wakes again after half an hour. If he is in with us he sleeps all night. The problem isn’t getting him to sleep, just getting him used to sleeping on his own again. Any advise
Our baby is 1 next week. He has always been a good sleper and slept right through the night until he was 8 months old. This was when he started nursery and became a bit clingy. When he woke in the night he would want us. He now wakes every night and comes in our bed. He goes straight back to sleep. If we move him to his cot he wakes again after half an hour. If he is in with us he sleeps all night. The problem isn’t getting him to sleep, just getting him used to sleeping on his own again. Any advise
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Wow. My son will be 4 this month and he is still sleeping with us. We have a king size bed and there is plenty of room. Its just that we have no personal time. All day we work, then in the evening we care for the kids and do household chores then bedtime..well no time for me and my husband because we have a child in our bed with us! I love sleeping with my kids but it really puts a strain on mine and my husbands relationship. My youngest is 16 months and has never slept in his crib! First was the bouncy seat then the swing now he sleeps on teh couch. He wont sleep in his room, only my bed or the couch. He has never fallen off, I always used blankets on the floor and pillows too! My advice is not to let him sleep with you because it will be hared to break the habbit the older he gets. You are gonna have to just keep taking him back to his bed and he will learn that you will not give in and over time he will be just fine. I know I have no room to talk but I did it once with my son for a week and he slept in his room in his bed, then his daddy was gone one night and I let him sleep with me in my bed and it all went out the door. I was really tired when we were doing this but it was worth it, especially if I didnt slip up just that one time! We are going to start all over again on Monday! Good luck!
I would suggest putting him back in his bed every time he comes back in to yours. Dont say anything to him, just put him in his bed and keep doing it!!! It will be hard for a while, but believe me it will pay off. My daughter kept doing it and I thought I dont want to be doing this when she is older, so that is what I did. It didnt take long at all. In can only say persevere, persevere, persevere. If you dont put the hard work in now, you will still have these problems when he is much older (and bigger!).
It sounds like you might need to do some sleep training with your little bub… He needs to learn to fall asleep again on his own. This will take about a week or two to implement and you will need to prepare yourself for some sleepless nights but if you persevere it will work… and it’s always harder on the mum and dad that it is on them.
You need to put him down in his cot once he is asleep again and stay with him. Try put your hand on his chest and make “shhhh” noises to soothe him. I used to do this with my daughter and then give her a kiss on her forehead and walk out the room. The first night she cried for about ten minutes but then fell asleep again on her own. The more you pick him up when he cries the more he will expect it and be upset when it doesn’t happen. You should teach him that it is OK to sleep on his own. As long as he is safe and you can hear him, I would try and leave him to fall back asleep on his own. If he gets really upset, go in and comfort him, pick him up and hold him until he is calm again and then put him back down, but still awake. On the first night this might take a few tries but he will eventually go down and fall asleep.
I promise this does work – it is hard – but it works. You don’t even have to let him “cry it out” – as soon as he cries you can go in and soothe him but be sure to put him back down in his cot. He will soon learn that his cot is the place he needs to be.
Good luck!!!
You’ve just got to keep putting him back. Babies at 8 months are clingy whether or not they’ve been to nursery–it’s part of their development. Separation anxiety starts right about then. Now, he’s just used to the tradition. Think about it: if you knew you’d wake up in the middle of the night and someone would come cuddle you, wouldn’t you do it, too? I know I would! You have to just leave him in the cot and let him cry. Stand in the room but don’t say a word, or go back every ten minutes to check on him. Eventually, he’ll realize that you mean business and he’ll sleep on his own. If you keep letting him get into bed with you, he’ll be doing it until he’s nine or ten. Guaranteed. It’ll be hard, but it’ll be SO worth it in the end. It does not stunt his emotional development and you’ll know it when he wakes with a smile in the morning.
We choose to share our bed. However it does not work for everyone. I don’t think you need to have him cry alone you can be soothing him while he is in his crib. It will take longer done with you in the room but I think it is more compassionate.
If you leave it as is he will probably move to a big bed on his own soon. But don’t feel guilt if you need to be on your own, My kids where with us for 2-3 years. They went on their own when they where ready.
I know it seems big right now. This to shall pass.
Unfortunately, the only thing you can do, is keep putting him back in his own bed. Once he realizes that you aren’t going anywhere, he will start to get more comfortable and stay in his bed longer periods of time. It could be the nursery he is in, isn’t the right one for him. Maybe you should look into trying another or maybe ask a family member if they could babysit, with pay of course.
If he’s in a cot… How can he get into your bed?
You must be taking him out and putting him there…
The solution is simple – Leave him in his cot until he realises that you are not coming to get him and falls back to sleep. You will need to be tough – He will cry and scream – But as long as you know he’s just angry, you should leave him.
At the most, go into his room every 20mins whilst he’s still crying or so to check on him – But DON’T acknowledge him.. Just go in, check he’s OK and go back to bed – Not a word.
Letting him sleep in your bed to shut him up is really making a rod for your own back…
It might be cute now, but imagine sharing your bed with him (because you’ve always let him do it) for the next couple of years..
No most intimacy with your husband without the worry that he’ll let himself into your bedroom (because you’ve always let him)
No more uninterupted sleep..
No personal space boundries..
Good luck
i know how nice it is to have a child-free bed….but what’s the hurry? he’s only 1. i was always grateful to just get the sleep. if it meant bed sharing, so be it! he may need the extra cuddling now that he’s in daycare. you can’t reason with children this age, you kinda just have to go with the flow. if people have told you that you are spoiling him, don’t listen! (i heard that from people when i shared my bed with my little ones). some people may also tell you to let him cry it out, which may also work eventually…. but he won’t understand why you are making him miserable so i wouldn’t recommend it. look at it from his point of view. his parents bed is comfortable, he likes spending time being close to you.
when i was faced with this situation i always brought my children to bed with me, private time be damned! sleep for everyone and comfort for my little one always took priority. if you are concerned that he’ll be in your bed forever……..it might take a while to get him out but the time goes by so quickly so enjoy it while it lasts. the last time i went on a job interview they never asked “for how long did you sleep in bed with you parents?”. good luck………
I have four children and I know exactly what you are talking about. Our oldest slept in his own bed until about eight or none months, but then he started waking and crying for me. Now I know that around that age a baby starts what is called Separation Anxiety. He misses his mommy. So what I have found to be best for all is to let him sleep in the bed with us. He is older now and sleeps just fine in his own bed. We have three other children and they all slept with us and are great sleepers now, in their own room. A baby is a baby for just a short time and if he feels safer and more secure in the bed with his mommy and daddy, then why not? If your bed is too small then buy one of those gadgets that hook onto your bed and let the baby sleep in that.
Awwwww! Why not move the cot next to your bed (remove the side wall), so your toddler gets used to sleeping in the cot!
Does it stop you sleeping when he is in your bed? If not, then just leave him be. Just be careful not to smoke, drink, or do drugs – this would make co-sleeping dangerous for the baby. If you are obese, co-sleeping is a no-no too.