baby bed time routine?
we would like our 18 week old son to get into a bedtime routine and it is going really well up to the actual point where he needs to go to sleep then he fights it, this is what we do – 19:00 bath, 20:00 porridge, 20:45 milkfeed, 21:00 put in cot with mobile on and rock until dropping off…
the only problem with this is that he really cries and protests for quite a while when we put him in the cot even though someone is always there to sooth him and rock him. then when he does finally drop off he is guaranteed to wake up about an hour later very distressed and will not calm down until we pick him up and cuddle him before putting him back down where he drops off then pretty quickly and sleeps peacefully until approx. 05:00. I am only asking for advice because I do not like to see my baby distressed and would not like to just put him in the cot and leave him to cry himself to sleep even though I have read the literature stating that it will do them no harm.
It also isn’t a case of him not being tired because he definately is tired by that time but just seems to want to fight the actual closing his eyes and sleeping process
he is awake and alert when we put him down even though he rubs his red eyes from tiredness
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I think you need to re-think the time you are putting your boy to sleep amongst other things. 9pm is very late to be having a bath, porridge (porridge at night?), and then a bottle. He may even be chocca after eating all that and have a tummy ache. My boy done the same when he was younger, as soon as his back hit the mattress, that was it, wide awake and crying. I continued with this so for long, about 6 – 7 months in total I think, and he STILL never got himself asleep. As soon as I tried the controlled crying method, within 2 weeks he was sleeping soundly AND going down in his cot awake. Good luck. Its hard work but you’ll get there in the end I promise!!
Try not to rock him to sleep as he needs to learn to sooth himself to sleep and rocking him makes this harder for him to learn. Instead do your routine if he’s happy with it but without the rocking instead say good night to him just before putting him into his cot then turn lights out and walk away. Put him into his cot awake as this helps him to learn to settle himself. He might cry but leave him for a few minutes to see if he settles. Go to him if hes distressed and the crying is distressing him even more but if its just a whimper leave him be. Check on him after 10 mins to see how he is. Obviously dont let him cry it out at this age but if you know he’s not hungry, been winded and has a fresh nappy just pick him up to settle him then place him back into the cot but don’t start talking just say its bedtime on the first 3 times then nothing if you have to pick him up to settle him. If your relaxed and calm he will sense this and settle quicker but if you don’t do it now it will only get harder the longer you leave it. Also he might be overtired so fighting it. Try bringing his bedtime forward a little by 15 mins each day to a time that suits both of you. I have also noticed if my son has a good sleep in the day he sleeps better at night.
i have a 4 month old he is on a pretty steady routine. try putting your baby to bed later. our son gets put down at 9:00 pm. he falls to sleep on his own. i feed him right before he goesto bed. so he is full and tired. if he wakes up alot at night try giving the baby some infant cereal right before bed then milk and he/she will be full and tired and sleep most of the night. good luck.
my 9 month old does the same at bedtime – she is fine for naps during the day but at bedtime she needs me there to put her to sleep. On the one occasion i have let her cry herself to sleep (so to speak) she has woken up within 1 hour and needed comforting but the times i have rubbed her back and she has fallen asleep she has slept from 7pm to 7am without needing me. Babies need to feel secure if they are to relax and sleep well. How do we know for certain that letting them cry themselves to sleep does them no harm. How would you feel if you were upset and noone was there to comfort you?
hi i never let mine nap much past 4pm i fed bathed and changed them at 6 and then the had quiet time until 7 when i put them into there cot. They had another bottle there with thelight off my daughter used to make us hold it but my son wouldnt we had to sit him in put his bottle in and leave the room or he screamed the place down… i Never spoke to them if i did it was whispers and try to keep phisical conatact to a min. once she finished i simply left the room.. occasionally they did play up and crie a little but if you dont go back to them they will learn to settle. If you go back in at every squeak they will play you all the more.. Mine have always been in bed at 7 now 730 for my eldest and slept through until 8. good luck
My kids are now 9 & 5. With the oldest I rocked her, stayed with her etc bc it was so hard to hear her cry. Eventually I just started bringing her to bed with me. (She was about a year old) Well, it took until she was 8 to break that habit.
I did things different with my son from the start. Bath, snack, story, rock and bed. Period. I put him in bed drowsy but awake and left the room. If he cried for 15 min I went in rubbed his back told him gnite and left.
It sucked!! But it also didn’t last more than a month, and sometimes were better than others. If he was REALLY in distress of course I picked him up and rocked him.
So now I have a 5 year old who loves to sleep in his bed, sleeps thro the night and goes to bed on time without hassle. I have a 9 year old who starts in her bed and then tries to get into my bed at least once a night.
What motivation does your baby have to soothe himself and go to sleep when you are right there to pick him up the second he gets upset? Bedtime is still traumatic for my daughter partially bc I didn’t allow her to learn how to deal with this when she was a baby/toddler. They have to learn eventually and personally I think the younger the better, bc they won’t remember it.
Don’t beat yourself up! This is tough for everyone. I agree that baby may be over tired. More sleep does = more sleep for babies. My kids slept from 8-6:30 or 7.
Is it possible that he’s over tired? If babies are over tired they will have trouble falling asleep and staying asleep. Maybe try putting him to bed earlier. While it sounds strange, more sleep = more sleep.
While every baby is different, I’ll share with you what we do with our 6 month old (as an example):
6:40pm – go up to nursery
Turn down lights and turn on soft music
Change into pajamas
Give last bottle
Read a book
A few minutes of cuddling
7:00pm – in to bed
She sleeps from 7:00pm – 6:00am
Try a gradual approach – 15 minutes each night and see if it helps. It may take a few weeks so hang in there. Good luck!
PS I just read your additional note. If he’s rubbing his eyes he’s already over tired! You need to put him to bed before he gets to that stage. Watch for things like: he gets quiet, the “seven mile stare,” yawning (although that often too signifies he’s over tired). I think you’ll find an earlier bed time really will help! And no, that doesn’t mean he’ll wake up at 4:00am. He’ll probably sleep longer that 5:00!
the routine you are doing is fine, but you need to make sure that this is all done in a calm way for instance. I always get my son ready to bed with the lights off(or dimmed ) . Bedtime routines should always be consistent and calming. I also spray a little lavender spray with helps him to relax ( its just a essential oil room spray) You will find that if you are consistent your little one will drop off by themselves. You shouldn’t need to pick them up or else they will just cry for attention as they know you will pick them up.. its hard but try to leave them for 5 minutes then 8 mins then 10 mins but do not pick him up just make yourself known in the room and that will reassure him that you are there.
Good luck i know how hard it can be, just don’t be afraid to leave him to cry but no more than 5 mins at a time like i said.
Hi,
I have had two boys like this. It is extremely difficult.
We learnt not to give the babies a bath before bed as they say it can stimulate them, so we stopped that. Try putting him to bed for 7.30 pm. (without a bath).
We done this with our boys and they started sleeping from 7.30pm to 7am. The more sleep they have the more they want.
I am not saying ignore him when he screams, but dont go in there every time, he will know that when he cries you will come running, and it will be a habit!!
Just try the no bath before bed, and see how you do.
Good Luck
xx
Are you putting him in his bed awake? I would suggest after his milk, sit with him for a few minutes and rub his back or stroke his face until his eyes stay closed and/or he is more drowsy before putting him down. Not all babies are able to put themselves to sleep even though they are tired.
Good luck!